


The Night before the Queen's Coronation

by djiange



Series: Frames from Movies That Were Never Made [3]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drabble, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-10 21:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28404282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/djiange/pseuds/djiange
Summary: Arthur dodges his wedding coordinator and one hotel worker who is carrying the podium across the garden before he finds Merlin and Gwaine murmuring at the furthest table in the reception area.
Relationships: Gwen/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Series: Frames from Movies That Were Never Made [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2070306
Kudos: 32





	The Night before the Queen's Coronation

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Frames from Movies That Were Never Made](https://archiveofourown.org/works/28255476) by [djiange](https://archiveofourown.org/users/djiange/pseuds/djiange). 



Arthur dodges his wedding coordinator and one hotel worker who is carrying the podium across the garden before he finds Merlin and Gwaine murmuring at the furthest table in the reception area.

It's his stag party night. Arthur shouldn't be the one coming to fetch these two sods, but he comes anyway. He has something to tell Merlin.

Gwaine has Merlin's nape in a steady hold, and wraps Merlin's right hand in his, which doesn't seem to comfort much so far, considering that Merlin looks edgy, fingers trembling through his hair. It's kind of amusing that as the best man Merlin is visibly rather more nervous than the groom himself.

Arthur really isn't.

Granted, he isn't the sensitive type, but there're things even he can't miss. He is neither the love of Gwen's life, nor stupid enough to compete with a man who died for love like Lance, or truth to tell, he never ever wants to. After all, life is full of nuisances other than relationships, and conjugal union is an institution of civil rights, fairly practical. No matter what Merlin says, he isn't the hopeless romantic who marries for love. He marries for what he sees fit.

So, it might sound a bit cold, but what he tries to clarify here is that he doesn't really emotionally invest in this wedding much, hence no worries. He knows what is bothering Merlin, though.

Arthur walks towards them. Gwaine sees him first. Merlin follows his gaze and turns around.

"Arthur, what are you doing here? We are about to get going."

"Can I borrow this idiot for a second?"

"Sure, he is all yours, Princess." Gwaine smiles, squeezing Merlin’s shoulder. "I'll head to the bar first. Meet you lads there."

He pats Arthur on the shoulder as well, a bit too hard, before disappearing at the entrance of the garden. Arthur sits down in the chair he left, looking at Merlin.

"So, what?" Merlin digs into his pocket, "Do you want to go through the speech again before alcohol intoxication gets you?"

"No, it's not about the wedding."

"Okay, then what?"

"Merlin, will you always be there for me?"

"Why are you asking? What happened?"

"Just answer me first."

"You are my personal prison, Arthur. I can't bloody escape you. Now tell me what happened."

"I don't want you to leave."

"What are you talking about? I'm not going anywhere. Hey, are you on something? Do you wan-"

"I don't want you to leave this courtship game we've been playing all these years. I know you will from tomorrow onwards."

Merlin goes completely still. For a second, Arthur wonders if he is having a stroke or heart attack. And then Merlin is vibrating. Arthur has never seen him so angry, appallingly furious, like lava on the verge of flooding out of every single pore of his, eyes burning with macabre flame that could end Arthur right there. 

"Are you fucking kidding me? All this time, when I thought you were too thick and blind to notice!" Merlin pushes back a little, shaking his head, and throws his body forward again. "And you think this is a game? Or is it funny for you to phrase it like that?"

"Don't you either? If you thought I was too thick and blind to notice, then why didn't you figure it out for me? You knew I wanted you and you just stood there watching me!"

"Fuck you!"

"Merlin, I'm not-"

"If you know that, then you know me. Maybe you have your little test to see if I would ever be bold enough to risk my poorly left dignity breaking your ice queen shell, to ask - beg - you for loving me, but now you must have known, this is me, coward, too proud, whatever you want to call me. I don't have it in me to compete against the world for you. It'd be impossible of me to demand that you be mine alone, focus on me and nothing else, which, though, is exactly I've been desperate, miserable for."

"So you have already decided that I was not worth risking, then? That us was not worth it? You said you were all desperate, miserable for me, that I was your personal prison, but you have your way out all along, don't you? You never even want to try me, to give me a chance to prove. For you, there isn't even a test, you just _decide_!"

"Oh right, _I'm_ selfish, _I_ don't want to be the one taking the first step. How dare you accuse me of self-preservation when I am not the one who will marry another tomorrow!"

Arthur falls in silence, but he doesn't drop his gaze.

"If I call it off, will you let me?" Arthur asks, "Let me be yours?"

"Arthur..." Merlin is shivering again, as the surge of adrenaline gradually fades. "Hypothesis like this isn't going to prove your point. You can't be serious about expecting me to be your little spice flavouring the monotony of life for you now and then. It's not even because I'm a noble person or home-wrecking isn't really a healthy lifestyle. What you can offer isn't enough for me!"

"What if I mean it? About the wedding." Arthur leans a bit, grabbing Merlin's hand. "I'm sorry. Didn't mean to blame you for anything, just wanted to prod you a little. I know I didn't give much for you to trust. I probably can never love you as much as you love me, but I _can_ love you enough, more than enough. I don't want games anymore. Could you please trust me just this once?"

This is supposed to be an utterly lame, if not the most condescending, love confession, but the honesty shames all the pretence of half heart.

"Have you ever thought there was just no pleasing you sometimes?" Merlin argues weakly, "Can't we just keep at it like a pair of ostriches? We are adults, we can cope with these things by ourselves. We will live."

"We can, but we are adults, we shouldn't keep making dramas like a pair of adolescent virgins playing out an affair."

"Says someone who's gonna call off a wedding." Merlin snorts. His frame loosens slightly. He pulls his thumb out of Arthur's hold, and touches Arthur's knuckle.

"I already did, for my own good. It's unfair to let you be the one carrying out decisions for us, so I called if off before asking your answer."

"What..."

"I have talked to Gwen. She wanted me to tell you she was sorry."

"Wh- But it's not her..."

"She knows you, better than I do. And she knows me. She hoped you could forgive her using of your silence. She has been so lonely, too, after all."

Arthur thinks about Gwen sitting on the bed of their hotel room, back towards him. She said that when he had proposed, there had been a relief washing over her, uglily cheerful, as she had been willing to bet everything on winning this marriage, grasping something solid which wouldn't leave her alone in this sinking time. It turned out the cost of victory was to lose the love that was never meant to stay for her.

Arthur didn't think apology would help, so he hugged her one last time.

Merlin doesn't make any sound this time, just staring Arthur under his fluttering lashes, so Arthur continues.

"You're right about we could live without each other. We calculate, weigh up the loss and the gains, and fear being failed. The thing is that, despite everything, I simply don't think it's a worthy life to live without you by my side."

Merlin stays quiet for a while, and he opens his mouth, eyes wide with jolly, dopey glow.

"Holy shit, I would never imagine you say soppy stuff like this in my tackiest, cheesiest, vanilla-est dreams. Where is destiny-and-chicken?"

"Merlin."

"Yes, yes. It's most likely an awful deal. But, anyway." Merlin promises him with a long, good kiss. It will be lovely while it lasts.


End file.
